Body Clutter: Love your Body, Love yourself: Chapter 1

Body Clutter. A book about learning to love your body and love yourself. I just got this on the Kindle and I am loving it. It is the story of 2 women and thier own body clutter stories. The point of the book is to discover what has caused your body clutter (both physical and mental), why its there and how to change it.

It starts out with a glossary and I just want to begin by sharing a few of the words and thier definitions.

1) Bless your heart- This is what we lovingly call exercise. When we move, we are blessing our hearts.

2) FLY- finally loving yourself

3) HALT- dont allow yourself to get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

4) Stinking thinking - the negative thoughts going round and round in our heads

That is just a few of the many definitions, but I was sucked in just after reading the glossary!

I know I am very guilty of "stinking thinking." When I saw this book, I did a happy dance because I need so desperately to change my attitude about my body. It is hard to love yourself when you don't love your body. Each chapter of this book ends with questions that are meant to be answered in a "body clutter journal," so I have decided that journal will be the blog. Perhaps if you are also struggling with this issue, you may answer the questions yourself. You do not have to share them (unless you want to!) So for each chapter completed, I will be posting my favorite quotes from the chapter and the answers to chapters questions. So here we go...

Intro/Chapter 1

"One of the most comforting things I learned was that who I am does not equal my dress size. I am a unique woman, a child of God, with talents, gifts, and abilities that reach beyond the superficiality of size. I hope that when I'm gone, the things said about me will never be about my weight, the size of my jeans, or what color lipstick I wore. Instead, I hope they will say things about my character and that I was a good mom and a good friend."

I absolutely adore this quote. It really helps change my perspective. When I am gone, do I want people at my funeral saying "oh she was always so skinny." Or do I want them to say "oh, she was so compassionate about life. She was an amazing nurse. She was a great mom. She really loved the Lord and it showed in her actions" Well, I know what I want people to say and it sure ain't about my physical being. I wan't them to remember me FOR me. What a perspective changer!

Chapter 1 Q & A

1) What is your favorite food when you need comforting?

This chapter was mostly about emotional eating and using food to fill a void. I don't really do that. In fact, I do the opposite. When I am really upset or stressed, I avoid food. I don't really have a comfort food that I go to. I pretty much don't eat. That is just as bad as emotional eating.

2) Now, look back into your past to figure out why you love it so much?

Well, this question doesn't really apply to me because I tend to starve myself when I am that unhappy or stressed. I think I tend to not eat because eating only makes me feel worse. I guess when I am that unhappy I forget to take care of myself. That's awful huh? This event rarely happens, but it has happened in the past. It usually happens in a time of great stress, such as a very sick loved one.

3) Write down a memory of using food to comfort yourself and what was happening to you and how you felt at the time.

I can tell you the most recent memory of when I starved myself due to stress. I actually lost weight. 2 years ago, I was in the hardest semester of nursing school, Critical care (ICU). I spent 3 days at school/clinicals at the hospital and spend the rest of my waking hours (usually 40+ hours) doing my paperwork on my patients. I literally took naps through out the semester. I never actually slept a good nights sleep. The paperwork involved in that class was INSANE and usually resulted in about 60 pages of single spaced typed report on my patients. OHHH, it was awful, but I really, really learned alot that semester and it is was brought everything that I learned in previous semesters, together. On top of this massive workload (I had other classes too!), my husky that was nearly a year and half started having health issues. We could not figure out what was wrong with her. We did blood work, blood transfusions, diet changes, medicines...our vet jumped from food allergy to leukemia to lupus...she was MY BABY and I adored this dog. To make a long story short, after a month of tests and drugs and $2000 later, we finally discovered she had an incurable disease called Lymphangetasia where the body basically leaks fluids from the vessels into the lungs and the heart. We had no choice but to put her to sleep and it was the most painful thing I had ever had to do. I felt like I was slowly watching her die (while we were trying to save her) and eventually, her quality of life was poor and it was the kindest thing to do was to put her to rest. I dealt with this pain while spending endless hours on schoolwork. I rarely ate and rarely slept and I lost weight because of it. That is just an example of the complete opposite of emotional eating...I emotionally starve myself! I pray that if and when that amt of stress comes back into my life, that I will continue to take care of myself and not allow this to happen.

So there's chapter 1. I encourage you, if you are struggling with loving your body and loving yourself, that you give this book a try. I am only one chapter into it and its already great and its an easy read. :) See you at chapter 2!

Suffering from an Attack of the Not Good Enough's

oh do you have any idea how hard it was to maintain a positive attitude about my body while at the beach? Aughhh! I seemed to have fallen into the "comparison trap" this weekend. Why is it that, as humans, we want to compare ourselves to others? I see all these hot babes in 2 pieces and just wonder "why can't that be me?!" It will be me! That is what I kept having to tell myself all weekend. In time, it will be me. But I want to get there in a healthy way and in a way that will inspire others to want to live a healthy lifestyle. But yet, I still sometimes find myself in a place where I have a bad case of the "not good enoughs."

I was explaining to my mom that after having a baby, I seem to put my self worth and value into my appearance. I was not satisfied with my weight before pregnancy but I didn't put my self worth into it, like I seem to now. I suppose it is due to my dramatic body change after having a baby. I had a c-section after 24 hours of labor and I feel like my c-section has left me with a body that I may not have had if I had delivered normal. I am down to my prepregnancy weight but my body looks nothing like it did before pregnancy. I know I am not the only mom out there suffering with this issue. And trust me, I am doing all I can to make changes to not only my body, but my attitude and my spiritual walk. It is just one of those things that takes time!

For the first beach outing this weekend, I wore my one piece suit that is actually quite cute (turquoise and has a little skirt). But then when i asked my husband to adjust the strap, he broke it! Oops! Ok, well, I have size H cup boobs so they are not going to hold themselves up! I have always had trouble with my chest size. When I was smaller (about 120 lbs), I still had huge boobs wearing a DD! Even now, I have difficulty finding bras because I am a 36H (that is partially becuz of my weight gain during pregnancy and due to a recent history of breastfeeding). I actually go to a speciality bra shop and they are shocked that I am small around the band with these massive boobs. All my friends have always said, "well give me some of yours!" If they only knew what shirt shopping, bra shopping or swimsuit shopping was like with a chest this size! And yes, they are real. So when my suit broke, I immediately wrapped a towel around me and I was done at the beach! Sad! For the rest of the trip, I wore my workout tops with a sports bra. Speaking of sports bra, I still haven't found one that is comfortable for my chest size and that actually supports like its suppose to. I just wish I had small boobs! I hope that in losing 20 more lbs that they will shrink!

I found myself praying often this weekend that God would help me to love my body and help me to not compare my body to others. Rather, I need to praise him for my body. It may not be where I want it yet but...

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am thankful that God has given me a body capable of giving life to another being.

I am thankful that God has given me a body capable of exercise.

I am thankful that God has given me a body that can transform into a healthy body.

I am thankful that God has given me a husband that is willing to adapt a healthy lifestyle with me.

Our perception of beauty has become so distorted. I see something completely different from what my husband and others see. We need to be motivated to become healthy to honor our body and because God desires it for us. But sometimes we are motivated because we are convinced that there is something wrong with us.

There is nothing wrong with us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, remember?

Reality Check

Have you ever cut your hair and thought to yourself "oh no," or "oh &$#(!)" or "what was I thinking?" Well that would be me right now. I chopped my hair. It used to be down slightly past my shoulders. Well, no more! I wanted a "messy-mom-do" that is easy to just throw some mousse in and go. Well it looked great when I left the salon and my stylist did a really great job. Then I went home and messed with it. And I just can't make it look like she did! Apparently, this picture was a one time event...I haven't been able to make it look that cute again.

Here is an attempt to make it cute again (getting ready for work - donning my nurse wear!) It's alright here but it still didn't feel right. I know you probably don't see anything wrong with it, but I felt it was wrong!

Now I have a huge fear of going to anyone other than my stylist. I only get my haircut in St Louis (just nearly every time I visit my family) because I only trust this one person with my hair. She is amazing and I adore her. But sometimes what we want, we get, but then we can't make it the way it looks when we leave the salon! Don't you just hate that? I got back to Texas and have been freaking out since I got here. Today, I couldn't stand it anymore and I went to Pro-cuts...AUUUUGH! I thought I was going to throw up on my way there, only for the fact that I was going to someone other than my stylist. But I was desperate. I had this gal make it slightly shorter and put a little more layers in it (to give it body due to becoming a tad shorter). I had her take about an inch off. Now it looks like that picture again,, mostly! PHHHHEWWWW!

Now why do I tell you about all this? Because the Lord just taught me a big lesson. If you read my previous blogs, you know that I have a history of some pretty serious body image issues. Well, they all came flooding back in the past week. I have been doing my workouts and trying to stay positive for those that follow my blog and for those in my Accountability group, but on the inside I was feeling awful. Feeling like a fat, ugly girl. How awful is that? No one should talk to themselves like that. I was laying in bed, talking to my husband last night, and he gave me a reality check. I said to him "I know you see me as pretty. But I see myself as fat, with big arms, big legs, a pudgy post baby tummy, big boobs that makes shirt shopping so stupid difficult, and now to add to all that, a hair style that I can't make work." I just kept on and on about how awful I felt about myself. "I don't love my body. I know what I looked like when I first got married. Or even when I was 20. I was skinny, long hair, and felt pretty then. I look into the mirror now and I see how different my body looks from back then and I don't feel pretty. At all." What is so sad about this is that I used to be the most optimistic, energetic crazy fun girl. I was confident. That's what attracted my husband. And now what am I? A pessimist. I HATE that!! My husband asked me "When you think of all the blessings God has given us: a house, a loving relationship between husband and wife, no debt and financial security, a great church, friends, a healthy baby...don't you feel joy from that? We are blessed beyond belief!" My reply "I know I should feel joy because I really am blessed beyond belief. But rather than focus on those things and allowing them to bring me joy, I dwell on my body image." I would not call that emotionally or spiritually fit, would you? Heck no! My husband than said something to me that just brings tears to my eyes as I write it. He said to me "I love your body. It is what brought our son into this world. You mean the world to me and you mean the world to your son." Ohhh, powerful! I had a reality check right then and there. If my husband loves me this much, how much more does my Father in Heaven love me? No matter what the scale says, no matter what hairstyle I have, no matter what size I wear, no matter how unhappy my body makes me feel...my Father loves me and that should bring me joy and rid me of this unhappiness. I am truly blessed in so many ways and that is what I need to focus on. I have so many more things in my life that bring me happiness so why do I let one thing bring me down so much?

So its time for another attitude adjustment. God taught me a lesson through my husbands words. And I felt I needed to share it. I could pretend that none of this ever happened and have written some perky blogpost, but the reality is, that even those that "appear strong" sometimes aren't as strong as they would like to be. I am struggling. But you know what? I am the only one that has the power to change my attitude. I am the only one that has the power to do something about this. But I can't do it without my Savior and so I am going to choose to fall facedown and give this to Him.

Shakeology Cleanse starts today!

As a night shift nurse, the only time I see 6 am is when I am working. So when 6 am came this morning, I did not want to get up!! But my hubby kept me accountable and we got up, dawned our workout clothes and hit play. We are doing high intensity interval training, 12 week program called Turbofire. We were done working out by 7 am! Felt good to get the workout done that early and felt better having my husband doing it right beside me. I am so thankful that he has decided to go on this fitness journey with me. It means so much to me. It makes me feel loved that he wants to live healthy and that it has become a priority for him because he knows it is important to me. It really makes adopting this healthy lifestyle way more enjoyable.

It's offical! We are going to run a 5k! After talking to my buddy who herself has trained for a 5k, she assured me that 9 weeks is plenty of time to train. So our training starts tonight!!! We will be running the 5k on September 17th, when our town celebrates Cowboy Days! So excited! It is something I have always wanted to do! Click HERE to see the training program we will be following! It suggest 3 days of running a week but our goal is to run 3-5 times a week.

Today is also the start of my 3 day Shakeology Cleanse!!

Shakeology is a daily nutritional shake that helps eliminate toxins and helps with absorption of the nutrients our body needs and wants! It helps you lose weight, gives you energy, lowers cholesterol, the benefits are endless! Click HERE to see more info on shakeology! For the 3 day cleanse, I will be drinking Shakeology 3 times per day and eating a salad with chicken (for the protein)! I will post my results on Thursday!

Victory!!! And Accountability!

I thought I would NEVER get there, but I did! Pre-pregnancy weight achieved! 145 lbs! Can you believe, since the birth of my child, I have lost 45 lbs? I can't believe I was ever that heavy. For a midget like me (5'1"), that was alot of weight to have gained! At least I had a baby on board to blame it on! ;)

Now comes the next part of this journey. It is time to lose the "marriage weight" as I like to call it.

My current stats

height: 5'1"

Starting weight right before birth of my baby- 190 lbs (AUUUGH!)

Current weight: 145 lbs

Next goal: 140 lbs

Ultimate goal: 125 lbs

And here are Cory's stats:

height 6'3"

Start weight: 278 lbs

Current weight: 268 lbs (LOST 10 LBS BABY!!!)

Next goal: 260 lbs

Ultimate goal: 225 lbs

I need some things to keep me accountable and here's how I am going to do it.

#1- I can't believe that I did it...cuz it's something I never saw myself doing, but I became an independent beachbody coach! The great thing about being a coach is that you do not have to be a fitness expert (and we know I am not!) But I hope to be pretty fitness savvy in the near future. So what better way then to become a coach and help others while I help myself. I have found a new group of friends that are fitness oriented that will help me stay on target and teach me along the way. I have an awesome coach of my own, Carrie Lincoln, who is so sweet to answer my millions of health related questions. I have an amazing number of resources now through beachbody to help me lead a healthy lifestyle. I am no longer feeling defeated by my weight, but excited, because I know I am going to be a shining example of what can happen with dedication, hard work and believing in yourself.

#2- I have accountability partners. First, my husband. He is on the "getting healthy boat" with me. He has given up fast foods and fried foods with me. And he says if I will get up in the early morning hours (he knows how much I hate mornings!) then he will too. Starting next Monday, we will be doing just that. Not looking forward to the early hours, but looking forward to the results that will come as a result! Second, My friend Angela. We live 800 miles from each other. But with the power of Facebook messages, we will be starting the Turbofire program on Monday and leaving a message for each other once our workout is complete. If we don't complete our workout, then we have to explain our laziness...and I don't want to have to do that! Want to be held accountable? Pick an accountability partner and make it happen!

#3- I intend to blog 2-3 times a week. Cory and I are trying to adopt a much healthier lifestyle than we ever had before. That is going to take research. So as I learn, I intend to share it!

#4- We are going to run a 5k! There is a 5k on September 17th in our small town of Plainview that corresponds with Cowboy Days. I am currently researching and asking some avid running friends of mine if 9 weeks is long enough to train or if we need more time. We can currently run about 1.3 miles in 16 minutes with 3-4 very short walking breaks. If our running friends think we can do it, we will register and go for it. If they think we need more time, then we will pick a 5k that is happening later in the year.

So with these 4 things in place, we really don't have much of choice but to get healthy!

Staying Motivated

A few of my friends have asked me: how do you stay motivated to work out? Well, I honestly have had slumps where I wasn't motivated. But I want to change that. I want to be motivated every day. I want to share some motivational tips with you that my coach, Carrie Lincoln, has shared with me! Thank you Carrie for keeping me motivated!!

Carrie's top 7 self motivation tips:

1. Decide On Your Goals And Write Them DownTo get motivated, you need to know what you're aiming to achieve, so plan short, medium and long term goals. The goals you choose need to be realistic and achievable. There's no point in setting the goal-posts so high they're out of reach - you're doomed to fail, and failure is not very motivating! So, if you are looking to lose 50lbs, break it down to 2lbs a week, that's 8lbs a month! You will feel more accomplished by setting up small goals. Always revisit your goals and change them up when needed. This will help keep you excited and your motivation will keep increasing.

2. Have an accountability partner Tell somebody else about your goals and dreams. Verbalizing and visualizing your goals makes them feel real. Tell your accountability partner every morning what workout you will be completing that day and check with each other at the end of the day. The last thing you?re going to want to do is report that you never did your workout and were to lazy and what other excuses you come up with. Need an accountability partner let me know! I am always happy to help out and provide some words of encouragement.

3. Don't Let Your Feelings Get In The WayWhen the only person you have to answer to is yourself, make sure the messages you're hearing are the right ones. Hitting the Snooze button is not going to make you a success, so no matter how you feel, get up and do your workout anyway! Even really bad morning people find their motivation levels rise once they get started, regardless of how they felt earlier in the day.

Feelings are only that - feelings. They DON'T run your life! Remember the old song "Some Days Are Diamonds, Some Days Are Stone?" Life is a bit like that; some days you'll wish you never got out of bed, others you'll power through your day.

3. Stop ProcrastinatingProcrastination kills self motivation, but procrastination can be overcome with a well-structured daily schedule. The best time to do your workout is the same time every day. The best habits are those that are done the same time daily; like getting up in the morning, showering, brushing our teeth, doing our hair.

Don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed with the number of things you have to do. The answer is to complete each task before moving on to the next one. Procrastination can leave you feeling frustrated at never having achieved anything, so when you complete each task you set yourself, reward yourself for your achievements.

4. Plan a get-together. One of the great things that motivates me is showing up somewhere in excellent shape. Especially if I have a Beachbody event to attend to. I better show up in excellent shape and be working out and eating properly, I can't show up looking sluggish. Attending a friends pool party, beach party is a great motivator! Showing off your hard work and great nutrition in your bathing suit!

5. Take progress pictures every few months or every month. There is nothing worse than having your next process picture looking worse than the previous one. Great way to compete with yourself. Pictures don't lie!

6. Reward Yourself
Your self motivation will increase enormously if you give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. Your reward doesn't have to cost a lot. In fact, it doesn't have to cost anything. Have some Me Time.

Reward yourself with a night off and watch the latest release DVD, or go to the park with the kids.

7. Have Fun!Trying to lose lots of weight can be incredibly hard work, so a sense of humor is a key ingredient in your success. Try not to take yourself too seriously. Learning to enjoy yourself while you workout keeps you enthusiastic and motivated, and staying enthusiastic and motivated helps you keep your stress levels under control.

Manna for Moms

Are you a mother and looking for a great devotional? I found one! Its a book called "Manna for Moms" and its fabulous. Each devotion is full of encouragement and inspiration to face every day with an open heart and allowing God to reveal Himself in any situation. It is a really fun read! Remember, we are trying to get spiritually fit here too! I wanted to share bits and pieces of one devotional in particular that stood out to me, as I continue down this path of trying to have a positive body image.

..."God is well aware that most of us aren't beauty queens by the worlds standards. He knows what the world considers beautiful, and He knows that most of us don't measure up...People just don't think we are beautiful. But God does."

..."His standards of beauty are completely different from the worlds."

...."Our culture may try to convince us that there's only one way to look beautiful, but God says otherwise."

This is my favorite part and the reason I wanted to blog it...because I find myself doing this often with my own son...

..."Next time its late at night, and you check on your sleeping baby, you may stop and just watch him sleep for awhile, thinking how beautiful he is...do something else too. Remember that God is looking down on you and thinking the very same thing. You're beautiful, precious daughter. Yes you, Both inside and out"

Remember, you are beautiful!!!

Sacrifices

A month ago, after watching the documentary "Supersize me," I gave up fast food. I didn't eat it often but when I was out on the run, it was convenient to stop at Sonic or McD or Burger King. Convenience. That's what its all about these days isn't it? Its more convenient to order out or grab something on the way home from a fast food joint then it is to spend an hour in the kitchen preparing a healthy pre-planned home meal. Fun. It's more fun to go out for lunch with the work buddies then it is to bring a pre-planned healthy lunch. Feel good feelings. It makes us feel better, at first, to eat something that gives us those feel good feelings to only say to ourselves afterwards "why did I just eat that?" Well, no more of that in our household! Cory and I have given up fast food. We will occasionally eat out at a restaurant still, but will make healthier choices. In fact, we have set up a budget for groceries/eating out. Once its gone, its gone for the month. This is going to force us to cook at home and only eat out once a week (we Baptist like to go out for lunch after church!)

It's time for another sacrifice. Fried foods. Last night, I ate combination fried rice. It was so good while eating it. It wasn't so good when I was later having tummy problems. That was when I realized I must give up fried foods. It is not something we eat often, but for us, this means no more doughnuts, no more chinese buffets, no more chicken fried steak! Oh sadness! Cory said he is in on this with me. So starting today, no more fried foods for us.

Do you really know how bad fried foods are for you? Fried foods can dramatically increase your cholesterol, increasing your risk of atherosclerosis (hardening of the artery walls) and heart disease. According to the American Heart Association, 75% of our cholesterol is made by our own bodies and 25% comes from our diet. 25% doesn't seem like alot, but in reality, it is. Our bodies need cholesterol to function properly but to much is harmful. There are two different types of cholesterol. Good (HDL) and bad (LDL) cholesterol. LDL circulates in the blood and can build up in the artery walls, causing a narrowing of the artery. This is called atherosclerosis. If a piece of that plaque breaks off, it can cause a stroke or can block the narrowed artery leading to a heart attack. The good cholesterol, HDL, can help prevent stroke and heart attack, because it extracts cholesterol from the artery walls and disposes of it in the liver. Unfortunately for our taste buds, fried foods have a significant amount of saturated fats which causes our cholesterol to skyrocket. So what can we eat that will get our cholesterol levels in check?

1) High fiber foods- Foods high in fiber, such as oatmeals, kidney beans, apples and pears, can actually help reduce the absorption of bad cholesterol into the bloodstream.

2) Fish- Fish, (at least twice a week!) contains omega 3 fatty acids which can actually help reduce blood pressure.

3) unsalted nuts- a handful of unsalted nuts can actually help keep your vessels healthy, but don't over do it, because nuts are often high in calories.

4) veggies, fruits, whole grains, lean meats and poultry, fat free or 1% dairy products

If you want more information on cholesterol, click HERE to check out the American Heart Assocations website.

To get that healthy body, we must make sacrifices. Are you ready to make a sacrifice to better your health?

Self centered vs. God Centered

On Tuesday nights, I am attending a Beth Moore bible study on Revelations. It has been great, because if you have ever tried to read Revelations, you quickly realize that it may just be one of the hardest books to understand in the bible. Beth Moore started the study by asking a question "Are you God centered or self centered?" I thought to myself, "I'm God centered. Of course!" She then asked another question "is there something in your life that is just gnawing at you? Something that is self consuming? Something that has you so self absorbed that you think about it constantly? If so, you are not God centered." Well crap! I thought I was God centered, but I do have something in my life that is self consuming, and that is my body image. I have to admit, although I am blogging to live healthy for Him, and trying so hard to stay accountable, I still have days I look in the mirror and think to myself "No amount of work is going to be able to fix this stretched out skin (except a tummy tuck!), this baby pooch, those big arms, and huge thighs." I am just so very wrong. Alot of hard work, time, and dedication will fix that. As humans, we want an easy fix and we want it right now. I admit that I am jealous of those lucky girls that have thier baby, then go right back to fitting in there skinny jeans. How come that can't be me? I haven't seen skinny jeans since right before I got married! But there is my first wrong-doing. Jealousy. 1st Corinthians 3:3 says "You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?" Well, I admit that I have been acting like "mere men." And a mere man is not God centered, he is self centered. I MUST make that change and become God centered. Exodus 20:4 says "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of ANYTHING in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." I emphasized the word ANYTHING because in this day and age, we can make pretty much anything that consumes us as an idol: wealth, fame, work, pleasure. An idol is anything that consumes our thoughts and energy at an unhealthy level. I would have to say that is wrong doing #2 on my part. I had become so concerned with my body image that I was allowing it to consume so much of who I am. I admit I am still working on this and that I must allow God to be the center of my life so that I do not allow "body image' to become my idol. With all that said, there is a way to be healthy and have a positive body image, but I am only going to be able to achieve that if I become God-centered and not self-centered. If you are in the same boat, are you willing to become God-centered to achieve those health goals of yours? Whether it be losing weight, lowering cholesterol, becoming tone, losing baby weight or maybe its something that isn't health related, but it is something that is causing you to be self-centered...whatever it is, you can and will achieve it, with a little help from the awesome hand of our God. Just ask Him. I bet He is more than willing to help ;)

You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His.

While getting ready to go decorate for VBS today, I had Mercy Me (one of my favorite bands of all time) playing in the background. I think God wanted me to hear this, as I still struggle (slow work in progress) to change my attitude about my body. Its hard to remember, sometimes, that its our spiritual beauty that matters, not the outward appearance, that society focuses on. We are treasured despite what size jeans we wear. We are sacred despite what size our waist is. We are His, regardless of what the scale says!!

Healthy for Him

Welcome to thejesusdiet blog! This is something I have created to help keep myself accountable and to share what I learn as I go on a journey to become the healthiest person I can be, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have two personal goals that I am focusing on right now in my life, (besides being the best mom I can be!) and that is to become physically and spiritually healthy. I had my first baby in January (what a blessing!) But I am not happy with my post-pregnancy body. I let it get me down, even depressed. God loves us, no matter our outward appearance, but I was finding it hard to love myself. A couple weeks ago, I made the decision to change my attitude, because a bad attitude isn't going to get me anywhere and in fact, it is only pulling me farther away from my Savior. And that's far from what I want. Let me share with you my two goals and the history behind them.

I want to be physically fit and healthy: I was 126 lbs when I got married. 3 years later, I weighed 145. They say you gain the freshman 15 when you start college, but no one mentioned the marriage 20!! Although not happy with my weight at that point, I wasn't doing anything about it. April 2010, I find out Im pregnant! YES!!! We are more than thrilled to become parents! I gain 30 lbs during my pregnancy. Another YES! Thats a healthy weight to gain. Then the last 2 months of my pregnancy hit me with pre-eclampsia and I gained another 20 lbs of water weight. Ugh! Not yes! In fact, a BIG OH NO! After giving birth to our son, Elijah, I lost nearly 30 lbs in the first few weeks. YES! But I got stuck at 168 lbs. After getting the clear from my doctor, I began to work out and started weight watchers. I use at home dvd collections by beachbody.com. They can really rock your world! I started with turbojam with Chalene Johnson and loved her so much that I bought her new workout system Turbofire which is a a High Intensity Interval training workout and Chalean Extreme (more to come on these specific work outs in later blog posts). I lost nearly 13 lbs and 5 inches! I am now at 146 lbs. My goal weight is 120-125. I am 5'1" so that is a healthy weight for me.

I want to be spiritually and emotionally healthy: I fell into a slump, a depressive slump. My husband could tell a difference as well as my parents. I felt like a fat girl with no hope! At the time I was on reglan to increase milk supply while breastfeeding our son, and reglan has a major chance of causing postpartum depression in women after birth. Well, I tried to resist it, but it got me. Without the help of reglan, I wouldn't be able to breastfeed and I REALLY REALLY wanted to continue breastfeeding. I had to make a choice, be emotionally distraught or quit breastfeeding. After a couple weeks of dwelling on it (and continuing to take reglan), my moods seemed to worsen and I finally decided it would be healthier for my relationship with my husband, my child and my self, to quit the reglan and stop breastfeeding. So I did. Within a week of quitting the reglan, I could feel a difference and my spirits were beginning to lift. As that cloud lifted, I felt God knocking on my heart saying "umm, how is that feeling of darkness treating you? Let my light in. I can help you. I can help you become fit, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Let me into this part of your life!" And I made the decision to do just that.

I'm calling this the Jesusdiet because without Jesus, I, personally, don't think I could do this. I need Him to make these changes in my life. And its not just about becoming physically fit, its about becoming emotionally and spiritually fit as well.

So if you like, follow me, on this journey to become physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit. I am not a personal coach; I am not a dietician; I am not a theologian. I am simply a mom that wants to become healthy in all aspects of my life. We will learn as we go. On this blog, you will find articles of inspiration, recipes, my commitments and goals; any tidbit that I find helpful in my own journey, I will be posting on this blog.

I want to end by leaving you with an article that was very inspiring to me. In this article, the author encourages us to look at ourselves as "perfectly imperfect." Look at our flaws as something to inspire us to become better, rather than something that brings us down, stresses us out and leaves us generally unhappy. I really love one line from this article "Don't let your weaknesses or flaws define you. Let them fuel you." Amen.