Weighing in with Him...and a demon possessed scale

Bet that title got your attention!! Ok, so yesterday I weighed in with Him and... then discovered that I may possibly be weighing in with a demon instead. You see, I am pretty sure my scale is possessed.

I stepped on to the scale praying the scale would go down but I had a feeling it would go up because its "that time of the month." I know, I know...TMI! But some women tend to gain anywhere from 1-5 lbs during that time...and I am one of those women :( Talk about bloat. Bleh.

Anyway, I step on the scale and it says 144. Yep, just what I expected. Not to worried about it knowing next week will probably be better. But I step off and zero it out, and step back on. I always do it twice to make sure I get the same "poundages." I am not kidding you, but in about 15 seconds, I lost nearly 4 lbs. This time the scale says 140.6 (which would be a gain of 0.4 from last week) which to me is basically maintaining. Say what???

If only I could lose 4 lbs every 15 seconds, I would reach my target weight in exactly 75 seconds!!!!!

So I get out an ancient scale that Moses himself probably used (ya, its THAT old) and step on it. 146 lbs! Oh my gosh, that took about 30 seconds so I gained 6 lbs in 30 seconds! Step back on my main scale and I am 140.6 again. I step on and off, on and off, on and off several times and I kept getting 140.6. So certainly thats what I weigh, right? Well, that's what I am going with, but I still hold to the idea that my scale is possessed.

Last week's weight: 140.2

This weeks weight: 140.6(ya, I am going with that one)

Measurements that actually changed:

Chest: 39 1/2 " - down 1/2 inch

hips : 39 " - down an inch!

Hubbys weight last week: 261.2

This weeks weight: 260

Non-scale Victories

• I completed the hydration challenge with my husband and I have earned a 20 minute back massage. He earned one too so this week we both get 20 min back massages! I drank 72 oz every day and he drank 130 oz each day!
• I have been asked by our Mops group (mothers of preschoolers) to speak about Healthy Living at the November Mops meeting!! I am so looking forward to this because I get to share my story, share recipes/whats worked for me on my journey to fit and I plan to talk about body image, and "loving yourself" because every woman is a beautiful creation! And how we can live healthy for HIM ! I am also presenting some "crafty,cutesy and inexpensive gift ideas" that day too! I get to share about both my passions: Living healthy for HIM and crafts!!!
• My ankle is healing well so I am slowly being able to add in my workouts

This weeks goals

• Walk 4 miles each on Monday (check!), Wednesday and Friday wearing ankle weights and pushing Little E in stroller
• Continue hydration challenge with Hubby
• Track calories on myfitnesspal and stay slightly under calorie goal
• Participate in the 30/40/50 Challenge on the page of Eclipsed: Escaping the Shadow of Obesity
• Complete my 100 push ups for the 100 likes (I am 60 push ups into it!)
• Research ways to improve my blog
• Blog 3-4 times this week
• Try 2 new recipes
• Go to Farmers Market! (For the first time ever, I am so excited!)
• Organize my thoughts: One of my favoritest hobbies is being creative and making something out of nothing, turning junk or trash into treasures! Using everyday things (like baby jars) and turning them into something useful and cute and decorative! I would LOVE to start a blog on my creative creations but its a work in progress. Right now its just in the planning phase. I love everything crafty from scrapbooking to jewelry to creating random creations. I would eventually like to combine all of these things into a fun website. Like I said, all in the beginning planning phases.

So to conclude, I am going to give my scale one last chance and if it acts as crazy as it did yesterday, I will be calling in a priest for an exorcism. What kind of scale do you use? I may need a new one that tends to be more accurate. Let me know what you use!

Body Clutter: Chapter 5: Forgiveness

"A grudge is just a bitter pill we take that destroys our soul and doesn't even hurt the person who we are not forgiving. When are we going to learn that the cure for this bitter disease is that we must first forgive ourselves for our past and quit punishing ourselves for every little mistake?" -FlyLady

I was 125 lbs when I got married. Within the first 3 years of marriage, I had gained 20 lbs. How did that happen!? I have forgiven myself for letting that happen, rather than dwelling on it. I have dwelt on it in the past and that wasn't a pleasant place to be. You must forgive yourself, accept that what happened happened and use your past as fuel to be better. Consider it a stepping stone. I have learned that no matter how hard you are on yourself doesn't change the fact that there is accumulated body clutter. Today, you forgive and step forward! And begin your journey to declutter!

"The power to forgive and accept forgiveness is the key to releasing one's internal bondage."

"We lock ourselves into prisons of self-doubt, self-hatred and loathing. We blame ourselves for a myriad of circumstances in our lives, with alot of them being stuff that was beyond our control...That we consequently made poor decisions shouldn't be off the forgiveness radar screen. It is when we understand the power to forgive and accept forgiveness (yes, even when it's from ourselves) that we can be released in ways we never imagined or dreamed of." -Leanne

Those two quotes right there are by far my favorite quotes so far. If you have ventured into past blogposts, you will have found Emo-Stephanie. Emo-Stephanie busts out when I am not willing to forgive myself. That poor attitude towards myself leads to that prison Leanne talks about and it's somewhere I do not want to be! Since forgiving myself and moving on, I cannot begin to express how much happier I feel!

Body Clutter: Chapter 4: Excuses, excuses!

There are a bazillion and one excuses out there for not taking care of your body clutter. I've used most of them and so have you. The minute I got serious about my body clutter, I recognized those excuses for what they were: character flaws that exposed a serious deficit in my own personal integrity. That revelation was completely devastating. But do you know what? We are the biggest decievers on the planet when it comes to ourselves. -Leanne from Body Clutter

Welcome to chapter 4 and the world of excuses. I've made them.

Excuse 1- I remember about 5 months ago calling my mom and saying "So many thyroid problems run in our family. I need to get my thryoid checked out cuz I just can't lose weight." Excuse. I thought I was watching what I ate, and sure I was. I was watching it go right into my mouth! I wasn't counting calories. I wasn't researching what I was putting into my body. Not like I am now. 5 months ago, I was making an excuse.

Excuse 2- I had a baby in January. I had a c-section. I was pre-eclamptic causing me to gain an extra 20 lbs of water weight on top of the 30 I had gained from the pregnancy itself. All those things must make it more difficult to lose weight, right? Excuses!!! Things I told myself to make myself feel better. Like Leanne says, we are the biggest deceivers to ourselves.

Excuse 3- I have a slow metabolism. Excuse! Eat well and eat often to boost that metabolism!

Excuse 4- I can't afford diet food/health food. Do I want to pay a little extra for healthy foods now or massive doctor bills later?

Excuse 5- I plan on having more babies so why lose the weight if I am just going to gain it back? Ack! I can't believe at one point I really thought this. But I did. Lose that weight to be healthy for those babies!!

We need to stop deceiving ourselves and realize "that paying attention to your fuel and movement isn't just so that you can wear a smaller size, but it is critical for doing more of the work that God had called us to do. It isn't just vanity, but it is a whole new life that God wanted to reveal to us." When we realize that, our attitude changes immensely and we are no longer deceivers to ourselves.

You must accept yourself first as you are today before you can work on your body clutter.

There is alot of pain associated with honesty, but there is also tremendous freedom that comes the moment the lights go on.

Ahh. Freedom. I feel that now, but that is because I am FLYing-finally loving my(your)self .

It is painful to say that I had such a bad attitude about my weight that I was deceiving myself into believing I was not beautiful; deceiving myself into believing I could never change; deceiving myself into believing that my outward appearance is what mattered more than anything.

BUT! Once I accepted myself as I was, I finally saw the light. I saw that I am beautiful. I can change. And my outward appearance is NOT what matters most. It is ultimately my walk with Christ. If I am not FLYing, I am more "stumbling" than walking with Christ and I don't want to be stumbling!

Weighing in With Him

Fear. Anxiousness. Hesitation.

Those are all things I felt today as I was about to do my weigh in. Well, that's typical. I almost always feel like that before I step on the scale. But today was different.

I have peroneal tendonitis :(

FYI, I wear a size 7 even though my foot looks like it belongs to a giant amazon woman. You might not be able to tell, but my usually-prominent-ankle bone is no longer prominent. I have a cankle. Lovely. This is what I spent my last week doing (mostly): frozen veggie ice pack, heat, stretch and elevation.

It was week 2 of rest and I finally decided to go see a doctor. I got tired of limping around and watching my cankle slowly grow outwards. Not to mention tendonitis HURTS! Went to see my friend/doctor and he confirmed it was tendonitis (which is what I thought it was after some research-as a nurse, you always tend to self diagnose!). I ended up with a steroid shot IN the ankle (OUCH!) and instructions to continue rest for 1 week (1 week will be this weekend), and to keep an ace wrap on tight to help decrease inflammation.

Despite my inability to run, the Hubby continues on without me! About to hit Start on the C25K app! Cali was built for running so she loves 5k training!

So here it is!

Last weeks weight: 141.8

Todays weight: 140.2

loss: 1.6 lbs

Hubbys last week weight: 263

Todays weight: 261.2

loss: 1.8

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have finally hit a 50 lb loss since the birth of my son! And my husband is just nearly to a total of 20 lb loss! I am so glad we are in on this together!!! It's so encouraging !!

NSV (non scale victories) for last week!

• I have to say my attitude about my weight has been dramatically changing in the past few weeks. I am really focusing on calling on the Lord anytime I get down about my weight and praying He will help me maintain a positive attitude. So far, so good! When my ankle began to hurt, I thought to myself, "please don't get a running injury. You have some BIG plans for August which includes losing 6-8 lbs this month!" Then week 2 of August comes around and the whole ankle fiasco starts. There was a brief moment that I became discouraged, espeically when I decided to take a week of rest and then especially when the tendonitis was confirmed. I thought to myself, "how will I ever lose that 6-8 lbs?" Well, I hopped right into prayer and asked the Lord to help me stay positive and help me to rest (I am not good at sitting still!). The Lord answers prayers because I already reached a 6 lb loss for the month (146 at the beginning of August! 6 lbs so far!) THANK YOU LORD!

• After much research about the importance of water in weight loss, I made a commitment to drink my required H20 (72 oz) each day. I was successful 5 out of the 7 days! I track it on the Waterlogged app. :)

• Hubby and I also downloaded the Myfitnesspal app. I love that my iphone 4 can scan the barcodes and input whatever I am eating right into the calorie tracker! So easy!!

Goals for this week

• Hubby and I have decided to have a waterlogged competition. Each day you drink your required H20, you get a point and whoever has the most points at the end of the week, Wins! We haven't decided on a prize yet, but I am thinking it should be a really great back massage!
• Stay just slightly under my calorie goal and track everyday on myfitnesspal.
• Incorporate 1-2 light snacks into my day. I want to eat 4-5 times a day to increase metabolism. I have myfitnesspal set up to remind me!
• Because of my ankle, I cannot do intense cardio or much that involves lots of leg movement. So I am going to do ab work outs at least 4 times this week and arms at least 3 times this week.
• Blog 3-4 times. I have some Bodyclutter chapters that need to be posted!! I am also in the process of researching how to improve my blog and add a recipes link of recipes I am currently trying !
• Lastly, I really hope to reach 100 likes this week! I have decided I will do 100 push ups (over a week!) when I hit that big milestone!

Weighing in with Him

Do you ever pray before you step on the scale? Oh I do. I pray for the numbers to go down. Then I pray that God will help me have a positive attitude if the scale's numbers do not please me.

You should only weigh yourself once a week on the same scale at the same time of day. It's what I have been told and it's what I tell my friends. Then why do I weigh myself daily? I am certainly not practicing what I preach...until now. I have made a commitment to only step on the scale once a week (I promise!) on Monday mornings which will be followed by the "Weighing in with Him" post. It is going to be so hard because I am tempted to step on that scale every time I go into our master bathroom and all it does is discourage me when I weigh that morning and by that evening I gained 2 lbs. Fluctuations are normal, but I still feel defeated each time I step on it and see it go up. I am going to put that scale in my closet so I don't see it and have the temptation to weigh frequently. A new habit is happening here, people!

So yesterdays weigh in!

Me

Current weight: 141.8

last weeks weight: 144

loss: 2.2 lbs (Sweet victory!!!)

Measurements: (the last time I measured was like 2 months ago-I plan to measure with each weekly weigh in)

Chest: 40" (down 1"!)

Right arm: 11 1/4" (down 1/2")

left arm: 11 1/4" (also down 1/2")

waist: 37" (no change)

Hips: 40" (down 1/2")

left thigh: 20 1/4" (down 1 1/4"!!)

right thigh: 19 1/4" (down 2 1/4") Whats up with that? My thighs are different...glad no one can notice LOL. Running is paying off on those thighs!

The Hubby

Current weight: 263

last weeks weight: 270 (He had some how gained 7 lbs back but in the past week lost it all again) We were visiting my family in St Louis during that gain, but he still ate well, portioned and ran. Not sure where those 7 lbs came from but they are gone ! We will do his measurements next week :)

I am rather impressed with my weight loss from the past week because I was only able to run once. It was not a good workout week either, between traveling and working. However, I did start drinking 72 oz of water a day (my required daily h20). Why? Because I recently learned that when you do not drink enough water, your liver has to help your kidneys filter your blood, taking away from the time the liver could be metabolizing fat. That's why its so important to drink water to improve weight loss! And hey, it worked!

So there you have it. The weekly weigh in...hope I can post happy results next Monday!

100 Factoids

I totally stole this idea from Fat Chick Fed up! What a great idea to let my readers know a little bit more about the girl behind the blog J

100 things about me:

1. I am 26 and look forward to my 30s, 40s, 50s…and so on. While everyone else shudders at the thought of getting older, I love it because life just seems to get more fun as time goes by. (ie: getting married, having a baby!) I look forward to what’s in the future!

2. I was married on June 9, 2007. Happily married to my best friend J

3. I am a new mom. My son was born Jan 6, 2011 and his name is Elijah James which means "My God is Lord" and he is perfect. We decided on this name when we had an ultra sound and his hands were clasped together as if he was praying :)

4. . His nickname is “dood” because that’s what we called him in utero. Our family likes to make up words and “dood” is another word for something that is “unknown.” So when we didn’t know whether baby was a boy or girl, we referred to our little one as dood. And it just stuck!

5. .I am a registered nurse with my bachelors of science in nursing.

6. I currently work in the nursery but my passion is hospice and oncology and I plan to work in those areas in the near future. I feel like that is where God wants me.

7. . I graduated in Dec of 2009 with honors at West Texas A&M University.

8. I am a member of Sigma Theta Tau Nursing Honor Society.

9. I plan to attend graduate school in the next few years.

10. My husband is currently in his last semester of graduate school, getting his phd in mechanical engineering with an emphasis on combustion. (hes a brainiac)

11. . He is at Texas Tech for his PhD but he will forever be an Aggie. He got his undergrad and masters from Texas A&M. I love being married to an Aggie. You don't know school pride unless you know an Aggie!

12. His dissertation is happening in October and I am excited about it!

13. We are praying that he finds a career near St Louis so we can move closer to my family.

14. I want to live out in the country parts of Missouri (where there are trees!)

15. There are minimal trees in West Texas where I currently live.

16. I miss green vegetation!

17. We are in a horrible drought and I miss the smell of rain.

18. My dream is to have a “hobby farm.”

19. . I want to own chickens and collect my own eggs.

20. I want a garden, horses, a donkey and what I like to call a “hair-do pony” aka Shetland pony.

21. I want my children to grow up in a country setting. I really don’t want to live in the suburbs.

22. . I am a country girl at heart.

23. . I love crafts. I scrapbook, make jewelry, make home décor, paint, find random junk and turn it into treasures.

24. Because of my obsession with crafts, I can literally spend hours in Hobby Lobby.

25. . I love pictures. On my personal fb account, I have 167 photo albums and 2 more currently in the making with MANY more to come! I link my albums to my personal family blog for my family and friends to see.

26. . Because of my obsession with pictures, I have a new SLR camera that I am going to learn to use.

27. I love winter.

28. Because of my obsession with winter, I am obsessed with snowmen. When winter comes, my house is completely decorated with snowmen…all.over.the.place. !!!!!!!! It is the one thing that I collect, but my snowman standards are very high.

29. I love Christ! He is my first “obsession!”

30. This is my favorite set of verses… “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us thru the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously thru Jesus Christ our Savior. So that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. -Titus 3:4-7

31. I am currently trying to read the entire bible in 1 year.

32. My husband and I sing with the worship choir at First Baptist Church

33. My baby has been attending church (well, the nursery) since he was 6 weeks old and usually 2 times a week (1-during church and 2- during choir rehearsals on Wednesday nights!) He has no problem with strangers! (yet! Hope it stays that way!)

34. Speaking of the baby, I am a strong advocate of breastfeeding.

35. I was only able to breastfeed til he was 5 months. I cannot count the number of times I called the lactation consultant as we tried to make my supply go up. We did everything in the book to increase the supply. My body just couldn’t keep up.

36. I tried fenugreek and eventually reglan (which avoid at all cost! It causes postpartum depression) and that’s no fun!

37. I really miss breastfeeding L But at least I got 5 months of it!

38. I was induced because I was pre-eclamptic

39. I was in labor for 24 hours with 2 failed epidurals.

40. Nothing on my birth plan happened.

41. I wanted to walk but had to have continuous monitoring due to my pre eclampsia.

42. I didn’t want an epidural til I was dilated to a 7 or so. But got stuck at a 4 (for 18 hours!) and I was encouraged to do an epidural to see if that would help me dilate. No such luck. It didn’t dilate me nor did it relieve the pain.

43. I had to have a c-section and for some reason, that makes me sad.

44. I really pray that God blesses me with a VBAC for my next baby. I just want that experience, even if it means completely natural childbirth.

45. I have learned: do not make a birth plan. Nothing on your birth plan will happen!

46. I want 4 children. My husband wants 2.

47. We have compromised on 3.

48. I love mountain biking. I mountain biked all the time when I lived in Missouri.

49. I am from a suburb outside St Louis, Missouri.

50. But I currently live in West Texas because of my husbands and my schooling.

51. I love horseback riding.

52. I love anything outdoors.

53. I hunt. Yes, I will kill bambi for dinner.

54. But I won’t shoot unless I can eat it. Each year we go dove and deer hunting.

55. Because we hunt, I never have to buy meat.

56. I am a member of Mission to the World and have trained for Disaster Response. I am certified to go overseas and serve on medical missions in times of devastation.

57. I am currently in the process of joining Mission to North America, where I can serve when disasters happen in our own country.

58. I am a child advocate for Compassion International.

59. I am a member of the 501^st Legion, a Star Wars costuming group whose sole purpose is to raise money for charity and bring smiles to the faces of Star Wars fans.

60. I am a nerd and proud of it.

61. I love to read. I am usually reading several books at the same time. I just have always read at least 3 books at the same time. I usually have a fiction book, a Christian book and some kind of self-help book that I read all at the same time.

62. Harry Potter is my favorite series that I could just read over and over and over again.

63. I also love the Harry Potter movies, but the books are 10 million times better (and the movies are amazing!)

64. Because I love to read, I am subscribed to several magazines. I have a 3 ring binder with organized tabs in which I put cut outs from magazine pages of different ideas that I want to put in my dream home (for example, the way a room is decorated, the color scheme, a way to organize something, etc) I plan to refer to it when I have my dream home!

65. I love country music and Josh Turner has the sexiest voice ever known to mankind.

66. I love Christian music and Mercyme is the most amazing band to ever exist.

67. MercyMe concerts aren’t really concerts. They are a time of worship. If you have been to a Mercyme concert, you know what I am talking about.

68. I also love Casting Crowns, Third Day, and Jars of Clay.

69. I have been known to jam to pop and alternative and 80s music as well.

70. Music is so important in my life.

71. I love to travel.

72. As a graduation gift after nursing school, my husband and I went to Europe for 3 weeks and it was the most amazing experience.

73. Having a baby has not slowed us down from traveling! He goes with us!

74. We are able to travel often because we are debt-free and that is so incredible!

75. I am borderline OCD organized.

76. I sometimes think I should have been a professional organizer because organizing makes me happy.

77. I love to-do list. I will write something that I already did on my to-do list just so I can mark it off!

78. When I was in nursing school, I had such a massive workload that I had to come up with a way of getting it all done in a timely fashion.

79. The concept of “chunking” was born and my mother, grandmother and I are avid “chunkers”

80. What the heck is chunking? It is looking at your to-do list and prioritizing in such a way that when you have several large projects happening at once, you do a small chunk of each project at a time. And by doing this, you can work on those several projects and make progress on all of them at the same time

81. I love “chunking” ;)

82. However, I do not love being “chunky” which is why I am on this fitness journey.

83. I am not athletic, but I try to be.

84. I am probably one of the most uncoordinated people you may ever meet. There is no hope for me ever to be a dancer (which is a shame, cuz I REALLY wish I could dance!)

85. You should see me do zumba…its hilarious.

86. Since I can’t dance, I am thankful that I can sing decently. I am no Mariah Carey, Beyonce or Carrie Underwood, but I sing in choir (and have so since high school). I am an alto.

87. I LOVE LOVE LOVE musical theater. Last summer, I saw Wicked and Phantom on Broadway. If I lived in New York, I would see a show every weekend (and consequently be broke!)

88. I have a bucket list and learning to play piano is on it.

89. Mountain biking in the Rockies, taking a cruise anywhere, owning 3 horses, shooting a 10 point deer, and having my own craft booth at a craft show are all also on that bucket list.

90. I have actually achieved some things on my bucket list already.

91. Some of those things include: traveling to Europe, marrying a Godly man, graduating nursing school and passing boards to get my license, join Mission to the World, and see a live broadway show.

92. Some of those bucket list items are in progress: reading the entire bible in 1 year, raising children (well, 1 right now, but in the future, plural-CHILDREN!)

93. I had braces as an adult. I had them for 2 years. I now have straight, pretty teeth. Getting straight teeth was on my bucket list. Sad, I know!

94. I have a new obsession with Pandora Internet Radio.

95. My favorite stations I have created so far: Mercyme Radio, Third day radio and Glee Cast radio!

96. I listen to Pandora when I blog. I am listening to it right now. Glee Cast radio is playing “I’m yours” by Jason Mraz. I love this song!

97. I find writing therapeutic and love blogging.

98. I just have to go back to the topic of being a mom. It’s the most amazing, wonderful, most precious gift.

99. I am passionate about being a mother!

100. It is 430 am and I have been awake since 8 am yesterday. I have to work this weekend on the night shift so I have been doing anything (including this blogpost) to keep myself awake for most of the night so I can sleep tomarrow (which I guess is actually today!) during the day to prepare for my night shift. I don’t think I can make it any longer. My eyeballs are literally falling out of my head. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me! I’m off to bed!

Happy Feet!!

Ok so I might not be a dancing penguin, but I still have HAPPY FEET!

I love running. It's as simple as that. I never thought I would say those words. But its true. We are only 4 weeks into our 5k training and I can already tell a difference. I don't feel like death while I run (like I used to!) It's an amazing feeling to run and feel that pavement under your feet, the wind in your hair...ya it sounds corny. But its true.

This week Hubby and I went to an AWESOME store called Fleet Feet in St. Louis and purchased some running shoes along with some SuperFeet inserts (amazing!). It was such a fun experience! We each had a consultant who fitted us with shoes that were the best for our feet. The consult included a look at the rotation of our ankles, the arches, the width of each part of the foot...we even had to run for them so they could see what shoe would work best for us given in which manner we run. It was a blast and they even kept the store open 30 mins after close, just to help us out! Every consultant is a runner so we also got some great running advice.

Check out my New Balance babies! I took them for thier first run today and it felt AMAZING!

We also invested in some really awesome socks that wick away moisture and prevent blisters.

I cannot wait for this 5k. I am so going to kick its bum!

Body Clutter: Chapter 3- The Hidden and Not so Hidden Realities of Body Clutter

We beat ourselves up with our body clutter. When you get dressed in the morning, do you ever feel like you are trying to "hide" that body clutter? We run from what we have become. We wear baggy clothes to hide our weight. We look forward to winter because its easier to hide that clutter under hoodies (I am guilty of that one.)

What about the fat clothes/skinny clothes that hang out in the closet? We see those skinny clothes and beat ourselves up because we see what we once were and what we have become. In this chapter, they call the skinny clothes "guilt producing garments."

If we're going to be new creations by attempting to redefine ourselves and change, well then, those clothes must go. You can't organize clutter, you can only get rid of it.

Feeling pretty is more about your attitude than your face.

If you don't treat yourself with respect and love, you will not feel pretty. Getting up and taking care of you is the most important job of your whole day.

I have found this to be so true. If I am staying at home all day, I still get dressed and put my makeup on. Even if its for no one, but me. I feel better because I took the time to "pamper" myself. In regards to clothing, the authors go so far as to say "Don't keep anything in your home that makes you have bad feelings. This has to stop!" Respect yourself and love yourself and you will feel pretty!

Q&A

1) Do you feel pretty? If you answer no, then write about how you feel about the way you look.

The answer to this varies from day to day. Some days, yes, I feel pretty. Depends on the outfit and whether I am having a good hair day or not! My husband teases me because when we travel, I bring a stupid amount of clothing. I cannot choose an outfit for each day and bring only that. I bring everything that I feel most comfortable in because one day an outfit might make me feel pretty and the next, it might not. That's just how it is and I hate having to live with that. I just want to feel good in everything I wear (someday I will!). On the days that I don't feel pretty, it is usually when I am having a high stress day/week.

2) How many years of clothes do you have in your closet? And better yet, how many sizes? What words do you hear in your head when you look in your closet at the clothes that dont fit?

I have probably 8 years worth of clothes in my closet. I have clothes from high school tucked away that I never wear. Not all of them, just some. Maybe I should get rid of those...ya, that sounds like a good idea! What the heck do I still have them for? I then have the clothes that I had when I was 125ish lbs while dating and during my college years. Those are the "skinny clothes" that I am longing to fit back in. Then there are the preggo clothes (which I admit, I still wear some) and my current clothes that I feel good in (on most days!) When I see the clothes that don't fit, some days I feel sad because I wish so bad to fit in them again and other days, I see them and think to myself "I am getting back into that outfit!" I guess I am bi-polar when it comes to my feelings about my clothes lol

3) Have you ever felt embarrassed by your weight?

All the time. I know the weight I need to lose is minimal compared to others. But for me, I know where I used to be and what I have become and I am embarrassed that I let myself gain 20 lbs. I am not embarrassed (mostly) about the way my body has changed after pregnancy because I am so thankful to have had my baby. He is the best thing in the world! I am bothered by my stretched out, floppy post-preggo tummy, that is a result of my c-section. I don't know why it bothers me so much becuz I would much rather have this tummy and have my baby then not. But I know lots of other moms whose tummies went right back to normal within 3 months of having thier babies. Here I am 7 months later and I still have a post-preggo tummy!!

Feeling pretty is all about attitude. Have a pretty attitude and you will feel pretty.

/sing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

Body Clutter: There is a cure: So why is it so hard? Chapter 2

Ahh! So much to blog about!!! But I better blog about Body Clutter so I can dive further into the book! This chapter was about the true meaning of the word DIET, how society has an image of an unrealistic "beauty" and a look at the many "diet attempts" that people will take and why they don't work, and why it always falls back on making a lifestyle change.

Chapter 2

We must love ourselves enough to take care of the only body we will ever be given.

Amen to that. When I was on the reglan and struggling with some post-partum depression, I wasn't loving myself and therefore, I was not taking care of my body. This is the only body I have so I need to really give it my all to take care of it. What a blessing that God has given me a body that is capable of exercise!

When you go back to the Greek origin of the word, diaita (diet), it means "a manner of living," or diaitasthai "to lead one's life."

Ok I am really confused on why the word "diet" in our society means "to deprive oneself." A diet is not about deprivation. It is really about a lifestyle change. Since I started my journey, I was not planning on going on a deprivation diet, rather just choosing to live a healthy lifestyle. I had no idea about the true meaning of "diet." That brings more meaning to my blog title "jesus diet." I really think I might change my blog title to "the Jesus Diaita" ;)

Questions to consider before you take a bite:

1) Are you going to bless my body? - We are looking for good nutrition, vitamins, minerals, fiber and protien .

2) Do you fit into my healthy way of eating?-

3) Is your taste worthy enough to go into my body?

4) Why do I want to eat you? - Am I really hungry or just need a drink of water? Am I angry and want to eat to stuff my feelings? Am I lonely and feeling sorry for myself...Is this mindless eating?

What a great combination of questions to ask yourself before you take that first bite.

Finally loving yourself is not about being magazine-cover thin and perfect. It is about loving yourself enough to be as healthy as you can be for you and, in turn, for those you love. AMEN!

Q&A

1)What is your image of beautiful?

Hmm...well, in a physical sense, beautiful to me someone who is tone and has an athletic appearance. I think being to skinny can be very unattractive. You know the comment "over-weight but has a pretty face," well, I have never seen someone who is anorexically skinny and had a pretty face, usually they look very sickly. So in a physical sense, I think the athletic tone body type is beautiful. I don't like this question because your beauty comes from the inside and I think someone's character is what makes them beautiful.

2) Write down the list of diet schemes that you have tried and put down how you did with them and what you felt about them.

I did the special K diet for 2 months to prepare for my wedding. I ate special K for breakfast and lunch with a normal sized dinner. I stuck with it but I felt starved. I was also running 1.5 miles a day. What's crazy is I was 126 lbs when I was doing this "diet." I looked great back then. Why did I think I needed to lose weight? I mean, geez, thats close to my target weight!

3) Go back to your teenage years and write down what you remember about your weight. Reconstruct your life according to what you weighed when something big happened in your life. Try to associate the areas of weight gain to what what was going on in your life.

Teenage years- I was simply to skinny. I swear I had the highest metabolism known to mankind. I could eat and eat and eat and I never gained weight. I was 100 lbs during high school. Looking back, I was to skinny and I do not want to go back to those "to skinny days."

Early College- Oh I gained the freshman 15, but it was a great thing for me! I thought I looked really great at 115-120 lbs.

Dating during college-I met my soon to be husband who happens to be a former runner, lover of basketball and competition jump roper, and a food lover. We loved eating out together. That was our downfall. We both gained weight. I was 126 lbs when we got married, but looking back, I still feel like I looked pretty darn good.

Marriage and college- We were married in 2007. I still had 2 years left of nursing school and my husband has been working on his Phd for 3 years (and will be done this fall yay!). We were both so insanely busy in those first few years that we didn't make time for exercise and we lived off hamburger and tuna helpers, literally. I ended up at 145 and my husband ended up at 285. Ugh.

Pregnancy- I became cautious of what I ate for the life growing inside of me (most of the time anyways!) And I only gained 30 lbs. Until I became pre eclamptic and I gained another 15 lbs and ended up at 190 lbs. AUUGH! I am currently at 144 and have hit my pre-pregnancy weight but I am now on a journey to lose another 20 lbs. My goal is to hit my target weight by Dec 31st 2011 (and hopefully WAY sooner than that) because we plan to start trying for baby #2 sometime next year and I want to the healthiest I have ever been for this next pregnancy.

4) Do you have any health issues related to your weight?

I don't really have any big health issues such as diabetes or anything but, because of my large chest size, I do have back pain despite the really great supportive bras I have. (I have spent a small fortune on good bras at speciality stores!) I am going to see if losing weight helps this problem and once I hit my target weight, if I still have issues, I plan on seeing a chiropracter.

Ok so Chapter 2 is completed. And I must complete Chapter 3 because I can't read to far ahead without blogging about it...so lets publish this one and get on with Chapter 3!